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Click on the image to read my last newsletter from Bangkok! Some highlights:
Turning
Sometimes betrayal comes as a kiss
Sometimes a lie seems like what’s real
And we get so lost
We want to believe, to turn back
To what is truly holy
To the embrace we’ve once known
That seemed too good
And yet somehow not enough
Have mercy
Hear the groan and the plea
That gets stuck in our throat
And the prayer silenced by shame
Pry our hands away
From the enemies we cling to
Oh, lifter of our heads
Turn our faces back to you
I’m relating to Paul in this passage these days:
“Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Â Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Â Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?” (2 Cor 11:28-29)
People sometimes ask me what I feel is the hardest part of my life here. Â I think they usually expect to hear something about mosquitos or the heat or slum dogs. Â But most of the time it doesn’t have to do with physical circumstances at all. Â It’s seeing people I love and whom God loves turn away from him and toward lesser gods.
It’s watching a young believer allowing money to be her master, gambling all day instead of taking care of her sick two-year-old.
It’s witnessing a leader deceive many by her charism, a smile and eloquent words erasing the memory of wrongs not yet made right.
Felt the heaviest these days, it’s seeing church leaders lie to themselves, their church members and the Lord about where the offering money is going. Â It’s discovering money given to God by slum dwellers has ending up in the pockets of a volunteer church leader.
It’s realizing how many of us (myself included) have in small and large ways enabled and even invited this kind of sin.
This has been a season of both celebrating the new life God is bringing in our midst and mourning over the brokenness that has been revealed. Â But I take hope that all of it is the Lord’s work. Â I would rather the mourning and repentance over sin brought into the light, than a half-hearted smile to cover up a lie. Â It is the Lord’s kindness that leads us to repentance, it is his mercy that refuses to allow us to deceive ourselves. Â While it can feel like we are falling apart, really this is just the first step of letting God heal us. Â None of this sin is new; this has been going on for years and God has known about every day of it. Â But now in his timing he is doing the work of a good physician. Â Unapologetic for the pain, he is removing our feeble attempts at a bandage and is applying his truly healing balm.
Pray that each of us, our leaders and church members would yield to his firm but loving touch.
Before we started doing community organizing in my slum I had never seen Gop (pictured refereeing a kids game) in a leadership position or doing anything to bring about change there. Â This definitely wasn’t due to apathy, though. Â When I started asking people questions about what life was like there and especially about the conditions for their kids, Gop was among the most outspoken and discontent.
She, along with most everyone I talked to, believed that nobody but themselves really cared, and that nobody would want to work together on anything.
It sounded also like she doubted both her ability to do much and whether it was “allowed”. Â Though the council had been essentially disbanded after the president ran off with community money, followed shortly by the vice president, everyone still defered to this defunct group.
But once Gop and others began meeting to talk and plan about what their kids need and what they should do about it, they started to grow in confidence. Â They ended up putting together two well-planned events for the kids of Phothong, which besides providing safe and educational activities also proved to the community that things could change, ordinary residents could decide to work together and act rather than wait for the council or an outside agency to do it for them.
A couple months ago one of the other women involved in these meetings and actions, the current community treasurer, stepped in to take over the ignored duties of community president temporarily. Â Since then I’ve seen her visiting homes individually, and she lead a successful decision-making meeting over use of a new government grant which many were happy about.
Then about a month ago I heard that she had passed the role on to Gop, who has never had a place on the community council. Â But after showing herself to be a responsible leader, Oi thought she would be the best for the job.
This is for the short-term, as there will be another election in October. Â But it is sounding like Gop will likely be elected to continue in her role.
That wouldn’t surprise me, as she is already taking this position seriously and working to bring about results. Â She has talked with me about using our house again as a place to host kids activities, and also to plan. Â She has decided to call together anyone in the community who is interested in helping their kids, rather than just the community council– the group that made all decisions in the past. Â She’s talking about other ideas she has for developing the community, including building emergency exits, an idea the women were talking about earlier but hadn’t seen to completion.
Gop definitely has areas to grow in, particularly in working with people to really think through the issues and come up with ideas together, rather than just promoting her ideas. Â But I am encouraged that Phothong now has a leader with initiative, who really cares about its development, who is honest, who wants everyone to be involved in working toward solutions and not just an elite few. Â It is exciting to see this lasting fruit that I will be leaving as I transition home.
