Archive for May, 2008

  • On the altar

    2

    One night in Bangkok ...
    Creative Commons License photo credit: mekong_virus

    Her name is Mae. She’s maybe 20 years old and lives in a one-room shack with her husband and her six-month old daughter (nick-named “Je t’aime”). They are assuming the little girl is his but they really don’t know given how she spends her evenings. But he is fine with that, and even the neighbors keep quiet when they see her leave in the evenings, powdered white with painted-on lips, because she’s bringing home money. At least she’s found a way, they think. At least her doll-like face and porcelain skin have granted her a little bit of power. Maybe it’s a sacrifice, but it puts food on the plate. And she shares with us, so who are we to judge?

    There are only a few whispers now, as neighbors feel her absence. She has been in Singapore for a few days so far. A hefty profit to be had in the red-light districts there, they say. Oh, no, she could never afford to travel there on her own. Her co-workers and boss all pitched in. It’s like a business investment. And they’re expecting huge returns– a plane ticket and enough cash for two weeks, and she’ll bring back over $10,000. Then it will be divided between the shareholders, see? And of course she’ll see some of that profit as well.

    Neighbors say she doesn’t feel ashamed. That she’s proud, even. But I have a feeling that under the painted-on exterior and the armor around her heart, there are wounds nobody sees. Or maybe they just don’t want to see. But there is still someone who knows.

    “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
    and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
    Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
    Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
    Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
    Give ear and come to me;
    hear me, that your soul may live.” –Isaiah 55:1-3

  • Which of these things is not like the others…

    1

    A while ago Christy and I spent the day with neighbors at Pattaya, a nearby beach. It is a favorite Thai hangout, as well as heavily frequented by Western tourists. It was a bit surreal to see foreigners who look like me staring at the white girl hanging out with a group of lower class Thais. And to hear my Thai friends make comments about the farangs walking by and then turn to me and say “oh yeah– I forgot you’re one of them!”

    I was having a bit of an identity crisis. While I look and talk like the Westerners with their sunscreen and guidebooks and cameras, in some ways I am more like my slum-dwelling, Thai-speaking, sticky rice eating neighbors. When I’m in Thailand there are things about the States that I long for, but when I’m in the States I feel a little out of place and confused by the culture. In Bangkok I long for the quiet countryside of my hometown, a good deli sandwich, and the ability to blend into the crowd; in the States I’m always craving rice, shocked by prices, and sometimes translating my thoughts from Thai into English.

    It’s amazing how much this place, language and culture has become a second home. And how much my neighbors have accepted me as one of them. This tension between identities is one I kind of enjoy.